It was August 1995, but I remember it
like it was yesterday. My wife Linda was going to this little country church.
We had been having trouble with our marriage, so I decided it might help if I
was to start going to church with her. I had been going a few months and
listening to the preacher, but it seemed like every week that preacher was
standing up there talking about me. So I did what a lot of people do. I quit
going. I didn’t need that every week.
After I quit going, things got worse.
We were arguing, and I told my wife to just leave. I’d had enough. Well, she
did. She went to her pastor’s house, and it wasn’t long before he was calling
me. He asked if he could come to my house and talk to me. I really didn’t want
to hear what he had to say, but I really did like the guy. So I told him I
guess he could. It didn’t take him long to get there, and when he showed up he
had a little book with him called eternal life. He ask me if he could read the
book to me. I didn’t want to hear it, but I didn’t want to be rude so I said,
“Sure, go ahead.” He opened that little book and started reading. As he was
reading, I was looking at the TV, the ceiling, the walls, anywhere to keep from
looking at that little Real Life Stories. Being the good servant of God that he was, he just kept on reading.
When he came to the end of the book there was a prayer at the end. He read that
little prayer to me and asked me if I would like to pray and ask Jesus in to my
life. He said Jesus would give me this eternal life if I would just confess my
sins to Jesus with my mouth and believe with my heart. I told him that I didn’t
think I was quite ready for that. He said that was fine and maybe I needed to
think about it. Then, he
left.
I went on to bed because I had to get
up at 3am to make a run to northern Illinois the next day. The next morning I
was up by 3 and on the road by 4 headed to Galena, Illinois. I’d been driving
about an hour when the tears started pouring out of my eyes. I remember I
couldn’t stop crying, and I started talking to God. I said, “God, if there even
is a God. I’m not sure if I even believe in God, but if you’re real I need you
to show me a sign. I need a sign from God.” Well as I drove on the tears
finally stopped. About daylight, I was driving up I-55 when I looked out in the
field and there was this little blue sign that looked like it had been out
there forever. As I looked at that old weather cracked sign, I read CHRIST IS
THE ANSWER. When I read those words I thought, “That’s a sign, that’s a sign
from God!”
Then I heard this voice inside my
head saying, “That’s not a sign from God. That old worn out sign has been there
forever.” Besides, when I asked for a sign from God, that’s not what I meant. I
didn’t mean I wanted a sign. I meant I wanted something big something from God.
So I started talking to God again, and I told God that wasn’t good enough, that
wasn’t what I meant. I needed something else, something from God. So I wiped
away my tears and drove on. I remember driving along and talking to God, and by
this time I was on I-74 between Peoria and Galesburg, this little white van
pulled up beside me. I looked down at this woman in the van. She looked up at
me with a funny look on her face, rolled down her window, stuck her arm out the
window, and pointed her thumb to the sky. I thought, “What is she doing? What’s
that supposed to mean?” Then, as the van went on by, I read on the back of the
van it was a church van. When I read those words the first thought that came to
my mind was that it was a sign from God.
Then I said, “No, God. That’s not
good enough either. That’s not it. That’s not what I wanted.” I wanted
something big, something that would leave no doubt that it was from God. I
drove on with lots to think about, expecting at any moment something big would
happen.
I made it to my destination a little
past noon. I started unloading my bulk tanker of explosives. As I was
unloading, sitting on top of 46,000
lbs. of explosives, I started talking
to God again. I told God that I was still waiting for something big. I don’t
really know what I was looking for, but I would know it when I saw it. I had
visions of a big bolt of lightning shooting down from the sky. When you’re
sitting on 23 tons of dynamite a bolt of lightning is the last thing you want
to see, but I was ready and waiting. Well, nothing happened. I finished
unloading and left. As I headed east toward Rockford on U.S. 20, I started
talking to God again. I remember saying, “God I’m still waiting for my sign,
for something big.” I hit Rockford and headed south on I-39. About an hour
later I looked to my left, and out in the field was a great big sign. On this
sign was the face of Jesus and the words THIS ONE’S FOR YOU! As I looked into
the eyes of Jesus and read those words, cold chills started running up and down
my spine. Tears started running down my face. I started confessing my sins and
trying to remember the prayer that was in the little book that Russ, my wife’s
pastor, had read to me. I prayed that prayer the best I could remember it. I
prayed a whole lot more just in case that wasn’t enough. The feeling that came
over me was indescribable, but it was like I was floating the rest of the way
home. Jesus had lifted all my burdens that day. I couldn’t wait to get home,
tell my wife, and call Russ who now is my pastor and best friend. The next day
the sky was bluer and the grass was greener. Everything had changed! My and
Linda’s marriage gets better each and every day. The problems of everyday life are
still there, but I don’t have to face them alone. Jesus is always there with
me.
