REAL LIFE STORIES - I NEVER REALLY FELT LOVED

I grew up poor.
I started hanging around the wrong crowd.
I got into buying weed.
I remember feeling empty.
I needed more.

My name is Gil. I grew up poor, in a shotgun house in the bad end of our town. We didn’t know we were poor as kids, but our dad wanted to make a better life for us. He was a hard worker and taught me to work hard. He got into business building houses when I was a teen. While working on a building at a lumber yard after some tornado damage, he talked to the retiring owner and got into the lumber business in the rural town.

My dad used to talk about and stress business a lot. I never really felt loved; we never did anything together. Mom was good, but she always kept busy with dad running the business. Dad became an alcoholic because of the stress and thought he was better than other people because of his ambition. Dad got to mouthing off at the local tavern one night telling everybody he was the king of the town, so they crowned him and put him in the hospital.

I started hanging around the wrong crowd, doing drugs, drinking and stuff to fit in at high school. I got into buying weed to split it up myself for resale and make extra money. After all, I was going into my own business too.

One evening on the way to a party I was picked up hitch hiking and the guy that picked me up talked about Jesus, like he knew him. This left an impression on me. I was raised Catholic and never heard of anything like this.

I fell in love with a young lady and got to fooling around as some kids do. We got married and had our first son at 17. I quit school and started selling lumber for dad. I also liked designing and dreamed of building homes, so I built my own house at eighteen years old. People would knock on our door and ask if our parents were home and we would tell them no, this is our house.

When I was twenty I remember feeling empty and nothing satisfied me. I had a new home, good looking wife, son and promising future at the lumberyard. Something was missing, so I went to my priest and asked him how I can get into heaven. He said go to Mass and keep the Ten Commandments. I said I can’t keep those Commandments. And sometimes Mass was a little boring. He laughed and encouraged me to keep searching. He would come over and we would say the Rosary and I would sit on the front row at church with my Bible. I would visit different churches because I was searching, and I heard a man preach about how the church should be in unity. Then he was on the radio and said if you’re “sick of sin” in your life come to this meeting at Broadbent arena in Louisville, Kentucky. I knew I had to get there!

It was during a workday, so I called in sick at the lumberyard. I’m sick! Dad said you don’t sound sick, what’s wrong with you? I said I’m sick of sin and I hung up the phone. Dad told me later in life that he thought I had gotten into a cult.

I needed more. So, I went to the meeting. James Robison was the preacher and he said if you’re not 100% certain you will go to heaven if you died, come forward and give your life to Jesus. I knew I wanted it, so I went forward. After I prayed a weight lifted off me and I knew my sins were gone. I felt new and clean, I remember going to the restroom and looking in the mirror. I didn’t look any different, but I sure felt different.

On the way home, it was in the fall and the trees were starting to turn colors. It was as if I could see God with a paintbrush painting the trees. I could see God in everything. When I got to work I couldn’t do some of the things that I did before. I had his Holy Spirit living inside of me. We had a deal working with my dad and an insurance adjuster; he was beefing up the prices, so we could make money on insurance repairs. It was a recession and the lumber sales were zilch. I had to tell my dad and the adjuster that I couldn’t do this anymore. I also would put cars together from junkyards and resell them. (Found out later my buddy at the junkyard was stealing the parts). I couldn’t do that anymore either.

All I knew is that I was happy for the first time in my life and I knew that God would take care of me despite business being bad. It really irritated my dad, I had a big smile on my face all the time.

It’s been 33 years since then and Jesus has been the greatest adventure of my life! He always gets better, He teaches you stuff and takes you from level to level with Him. He’s always been there for me and helped me through every trial. And I’m overwhelmed knowing how much He loves me and that I can have a relationship with the Living God. He talks to me and I tell people about Him. You know I have never been able to stop. I learned how to do this by going along working with some friends in a Mobile Truckers Chapel. This happened a year after I gave my life to Jesus. I learned how to live by faith in a home bible study group with my pastor. He had a pastor’s heart and would cry with people and cry with us when we lost our four last babies. His name was Elvis and the church was Graceland Baptist, funny huh. Sandra and I had two sons that we brought up in the church, they really love God. They had a Christian band and would lead kids to Jesus, and most are in ministry today.

Twenty years ago, my oldest son Jake, who served God with all his heart got paranoid schizophrenia. I got a knot in my stomach for ten years because of the way he suffered, and it was really hard on his little brother Ben. In the last ten years my older son drowned, I lost my development company and my wife and best friend of over 30 years left me.

I loved her; things just got too hard for her. Just prior to all this tragedy, the Lord told me He was going to reteach me the Bible and that He was putting me in an end time ministry. This was confirmed through many circumstances and local prophetic ministries. I drew close to Him in the suffering and loneliness, but it was really hard. You know the Lord took me through the Bible and retaught me subject after subject. God has given me an understanding heart, which is what Solomon asked for. Don’t let the names over the doors of churches tell you what to believe, ask God. Ephesians 1:17-19 is what I prayed. I had never been alone in my life. But the Lord has been absolutely amazing. If you draw close to Him, He will draw close to you. His Joy is unspeakable, His love everlasting, and His peace has settled my troubled soul. I’m so thankful for everything He brought me through. I wouldn’t change any of it. Because I know He used it to get me where I’m at today. I feel Jesus with me as I walk along each day. That guy that picked me up hitchhiking when I was fourteen was right, you really can know Him. He can heal an empty life and a broken heart. His love brought me through! He truly has put my feet on higher ground.

Real Life Stories Christian Testimony Books
Jim and Carla Barbarossa
Phone: 219-762-7589
Email: jimbarbarossa7@gmail.com or jim@step-by-step.org
Website: https://www.reallifestoriesbooks.com/