Real Life Stories Books - Not Good Enough for Anyone or Myself

He called me, “Peg Legs” and “Crippled.”
I dreaded every day of school and dropped out in my junior year.
I carried around toxic shame for years.

I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father. My mom went to church. The church we belonged to had strict rules. The move from a suburb to the country when I was in 5th grade was a dramatic change in my life. I moved from a hundred and five fifth graders in three classes to only 12 in my total class with both the 5th and 6th grade!

The spiral downward in my life began at that point when people started making fun of me for the way I walked. I inherited my mother's deformed feet. I had very high arches hammer toes and my ankles turned out with no support. The physical education teacher used to make me run around the gym so she could watch me run and make fun of me. There was a guy on the bus that I always tried to avoid because he called me, “Peg Legs” and “crippled.” I dreaded every day of school. I dropped out in my junior year.

When you internalize pain and live out of that, pain becomes toxic. It will affect the way you think and act about everything. I carried around toxic shame for years not feeling I was good enough for anyone or myself because of the way I walked and because of the guilt of divorce. Even as hard as I tried, I never felt I was good enough for God. I struggled inwardly all the time. The shame stayed with me.

We didn't attend church very often after we moved because we lived so far out in the country. I didn't really return to God until after I got married only to find my husband was not as interested in attending church. He became an alcoholic. There was a lot of verbal abuse during the marriage. He quit several jobs. His addictions became worse. He started using more drugs, stopped working and became violent at times, so the children and I left.

My church didn't believe in divorce and remarriage. I remarried quickly so I wouldn't feel the guilt or have anyone put guilt on me, only to find out what a mistake I had made in not waiting on God. I went to church with my girlfriend and was feeling so ashamed of my decision. My husband had left me two months after we were married. I closed my eyes during the service and opened my heart to God. When I did, I heard him speak to me. He said these words, "Whose child are you?" I said softly out loud, “I'm a child of the King.” He spoke with a loud clear voice and said, "Then you pull up a chair and sit at my table." I was never the same after that. I wanted to learn so much about the Lord. I started going to the ladies group and attending church. Then He began to use me. I've led several people to the Lord. One was my dad, who was saved two months before he died.

I still carried around the toxic shame for a number of years until finally one day I let go of it. I realized, “I'll never be good enough, no one is.” That's not what God wants. He just wants me to come to him anytime, anywhere, just as I am. Then I am at peace and He can teach me and use me. I raised my children on my own. I had three jobs at one time; small paying jobs. I was on food stamps a few times. But the lord always provided. I never thought I could get a house but I prayed and the Lord gave me a house on a government loan. I paid $200 down and got that back when I moved in. The owner paid for the closing costs and all that needed to be approved of before I moved in.

Later I was hired at a publishing company as a customer service representative. I didn't even think I could get that job. When my boss, the Customer Service Director got fired, the Marketing director called me into his old office one day, as I had been in there before, showing her some of things he did. She told me to have a seat. When I started to sit in a chair she said, “No, behind his desk!” I got his job! When she left, I started cutting and pasting, making flyers. I had never done anything like that in my life, and guess what! I got her job and his job!!! The Lord has used me in so many ways that I never thought possible.

My department closed after 14 years so I started my own business. I am now helping people in the marketplace to use their gifts for God. I still have the same feet but I don't have the shameful thoughts about them anymore. God can use anybody in any situation if you just let Him. All He wants is a willing heart. He will change situations and put you in places you never dreamed of. God doesn't remember our past sins. People do. But I believe the reason is so the Lord can show others how He has changed your life.

God doesn't want us to live out of shame or guilt. He wants us to live out of the gifts that He gave to us. We all have gifts from God! It's so much more rewarding letting Him use us. He gets all the praise for it. A quote I use often is, “I believe every person has exceptional gifts just waiting to be rewarded.”

So the next time you feel you're not good enough or you carry around guilt and shame for your past mistakes or even physical defects, let this be a reminder that God doesn't look at any of those things. He just looks at how much He loves you and at all the wonderful things that He can do in your life. He is a Gift Giver. GOD IS LOVE.

The more you embrace His peace and love, the more you will start seeing through new eyes and have hope for the calling in your life and find purpose. Don't worry about what it is. It will just happen. Just be you. Once you find God, He teaches you what love really is. You will learn to love yourself and let God love through you.

Everyone has something that they don't like about themselves; but the people who will accomplish more and are at peace, are the ones that let go of what they cannot change and what they regret. The Bible says, “TODAY IS THE DAY OF SALVATION.” Let this be the day of no more toxic shame, no more guilt, no more regrets. See what it feels like for one day. I guarantee, you will want to live the next and the next and next, the same way.

I had one person say to me, “I have faith in you.” That was huge for me. No had ever said anything like that to me before. And I never said it to myself. I never understood why I couldn't overcome and do things like other people. I always had that guilt feeling on the inside. But now after letting go and letting God take my pain and shame, I look forward to my dreams, working and living for God.

Whoever is reading this, I want to say this to you, “I have faith in you!” But even greater, our God created you and He has such awesome plans for your life. Much more than you could ever imagine!! Let God be your peace. Release any guilt or shame to Him. He is our peace. Even say out loud... “God is my peace!” And you can't think negatively when you think on these things as the scripture says, so practice thinking in this way. It will increase your faith. Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

Be Free! John 8:36 so if the Son sets you free, you are truly free! And lastly begin to dream. Let the dream out of the box, (the guilt and shame box) and your gifts will make room for you to accomplish great things. Let God use you and be at peace. Proverbs 18:16 A man’s gift [given in love or courtesy] makes room for him; and brings him before great men.

Real Life Stories Christian Testimony Books
Jim and Carla Barbarossa
Phone: 219-762-7589
Email: jimbarbarossa7@gmail.com or jim@step-by-step.org
Website: https://www.reallifestoriesbooks.com/

It’s Time to Pray - Real Life Stories Christian Testimony Books

 If you have already confessed your sins and cried out to God, you are saved. If you have not, it’s time that you do. Pray this right now:

Dear God,

I acknowledge You as the Creator of all things. I admit that I am a sinner, and I deserve the Fires of Hell. I kneel at your feet and ask for your mercy and forgiveness of my sins. I believe that Jesus Christ is your son. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and I believe that you raised Him from the dead. Jesus, please come into my heart and fill that place in my heart that belongs only to You. Jesus, I declare You Lord of my whole life today. I ask you to show me my life purpose, plan, and destiny for which I was born. Fill me with your Holy Spirit and with all the gifts you have for me. I will confirm my salvation by telling others what you have done for me. Thank You for saving me and giving me abundant life!

Now that you are a child of God, pray this prayer to your Father Daily!

My Father in Heaven,

Hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come.

Your will be done.

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give me this day my daily bread.

And forgive me my trespasses,

As I forgive those who trespass against me.

And lead me not into temptation,

But deliver me from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.

For more “Real Life Stories ”  Visit : http://www.reallifestoriesbooks.com

REAL LIFE STORIES BOOKS - YOU MEAN GOD APPOINTS US GIFTS

I wanted to be a nun … I always believed in God.
I watched as my parents argued and fought … they divorced.
My dad moved to another state and remarried without our knowledge.
My mom believed she was a lesbian and took a female partner.
I had to grow up quick.
I was so angry that I became a wrecking ball destroying myself.

Gifts, you mean God appoints us gifts? Somehow as a young person, I felt God helped me define the gifts He had for me early in life, but it has taken the rest of my life until now to realize that was what was happening. Raised Catholic and attending Catholic grade school, my biggest desire at that time was to be a nun. I always believed in God.

I knew Jesus was there. But at 10 years old, life was not so much fun anymore. I watched as my parents argued and fought. I saw my mom falling down a flight of stairs, my dad’s badly cut up finger, and then there was the gun! They divorced. Things kept deteriorating in my family that I didn’t understand. My dad moved to another state and remarried without our knowledge.

I could have been angry and bitter, but Jesus started teaching me the gift of taking “bad” and turning it to “good”. So I accepted that I had gained a new stepmom who had a good heart. She showed my brother and me that we didn’t lose a dad, but instead gained a new family.

My mom believed she was a lesbian and took a female partner. My mother became very ill with Lupus and was difficult to be around. Her new partner helped us to stay stable. However, my mom took lots of medicine which made her dysfunctional. I had to quickly grow up. That’s when new gifts of mine came forth – caregiving, running a household and, along with my brother, we became kennel kids to over 30 dogs.

My escape became high school. My brother was able to go on to Catholic high school on a grant. My parents felt I wasn't smart enough so I entered the public high school that was laced with drugs, and found myself trying to fit in somewhere. Here is the miracle; Jesus was guiding me patiently to good friends, great teachers, and my high school sweetheart who I later married.

Married life was good, providing stability as well as two "new parents" who loved me unconditionally. Jesus blessed us with two beautiful children to raise for Him!

After being married about 15-17 years, temptation came my way along with doubt. I realize the devil couldn't stand it any longer. I believed him and made regretful decisions that became harmful to me and to those I loved dearly. The devil also brought feelings and I began to believe that Jesus personally took my mother, my stepmother, mom’s partner, and hardest of all, my father-in-law, when they died. I believed the lie that it was my punishment because I had sinned.

I was so angry that I became a wrecking ball quickly destroying myself by doing things I never thought I would do.

But because of Jesus of love for me, He sent my best friend's father to help me realize Jesus truly loved me and that satan had lied. Receiving that revelation, I chose to believe Jesus loved me and to reject the lies of the enemy who only wanted to destroy me and all I loved.

I returned to church. Opportunities opened up for my family to start a Pawn Shop business.When my children left for college, I felt the call from Jesus to adopt. My husband and I were obedient to that call.

It was very scary leaving the country and although some bad things happened, our faith was strong. We were rewarded with two more beautiful children to raise for Him!

However, working and raising the children at an older age took its toll on me. Once again, the devil saw an opportunity. I crumbled from all the pressure becoming unable to handle raising the kids and all the related responsibilities. I became isolated from other adults and friends feeling so alone and stagnant. In retrospect, I see that I was continually pouring out nurture to the children, but was not being replenished within myself. I felt dried up inside. The result was my 30-year marriage ended.

With the love of my family and friends, I started repairing the damage I created. It has taken a few years and good people around me to learn how to appreciate my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

Once I started reading my Bible again and surrounding myself with everything my Heavenly Father desired, I truly realized my gifts! I am finding my purpose! I am a child of GOD'S! The good news is, you are too!

Real Life Stories Christian Testimony Books
Jim and Carla Barbarossa
Phone: 219-762-7589
Email: jimbarbarossa7@gmail.com or jim@step-by-step.org
Website: https://www.reallifestoriesbooks.com/

You Are a New Person - Real Life Stories

 

The Bible says: “When someone becomes a Christian, he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same any more. A new life has begun!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

Say this:

I am a new person. I have a new life, a God centered life.

The Bible says:

“Real Life Stories - All these new things are from God, who brought us back to Himself through what Christ Jesus did. And God has given us the privilege of urging everyone to come into His favor and be reconciled to Him.” 2 Corinthians 5:18 “

God bridged the gap of sin between you and Him by Jesus dying on the cross. He now has given you the honor and privilege of telling people how to find that same favor with God through what Jesus has done for them.

The Bible says:

“He died for all so that all who live --- having received eternal life from Him --- might live no longer for themselves, to please themselves, but to spend their lives pleasing Evangelism Training who died and rose again for them.” 2 Corinthians 5:15 .

Jesus died so you could have eternal life with Him in Heaven. Jesus is calling you to now live

Real Life Stories Books - Mom Tried to Warn Me

I Thought I Knew Better.
I was stubborn and bull headed…

Born in 1938, my early childhood was spent mostly around family - aunts and uncles who lived next to us and down the street. It seemed like the whole neighborhood was my relatives. Even the school I went to was right across the street from my house. I grew up thinking I was a good boy, until I heard from my sister later on what I had done to my cousin. It seems that I clobbered her with a baseball bat! I remember every Sunday we would dress up and go to church. Afterward, the whole family would have dinner at home with Grandma and Grandpa.

On November 12, 1950, I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. In 1957, I graduated from High School. I spent two years in the Navy from 1960-1962 and another two years in electronic school. Finally, my dad got me a job at U.S. Steel in Gary, Indiana and I worked there until it was shut down.

As a child, I loved roller skating and enjoyed going to different rinks in the area. I joined a hockey team and thought I was pretty good. That idea lasted until some older guys who had played ice hockey up near Chicago joined in the team!

When I was 28, I met a girl who was 10 years younger than me. We wanted to get married. My mom was opposed to it, warning me against marrying her, because she was not a believer and because she was too young. I was stubborn and bull headed. I did not listen, and we married anyway. We had two beautiful children, a boy and a girl. I took them to Sunday school, but my wife stayed home. The marriage lasted ten years. In 1975, she filed for a divorce. This sent me on a downhill spiral. I became a sex maniac. I started living the single life, drinking, moving in with my brother, and buying a Corvette. I decided to join the Playboy Club, even going up to Geneva, Illinois a couple times. I joined a ski club, played volleyball, and hit all the bars. I wanted to go all out. I decided women were “my thing” and that I was a type of “Hugh Hefner.” I started to hang around a couple of guys in the ski club who gambled, smoked pot, and drank. They were the guys always having a good time. Party, party! You could always find us in the bar.

In 1989, one day while playing volleyball at my club, one of the players started to swear at me. I said to myself, “I don’t have to stand here and take this.” So I left. I just turned my back and walked away from it all. I asked myself what I was doing there, and it was like a light came on. I suddenly saw myself as The Prodigal. Like him, I finally came to my senses. I realized what I had done and decided to go home. I had a feeling someone knew I would become a rebellious backslide and had prayed that I would return. That day their prayers were answered.

“...And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.” 2 Timothy 2:24-26

But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Ephesians 5:13-14

I started attending church again, committing my life to the Lord Jesus Christ. I asked the Lord to forgive my rebellion and disobedience. I turned from my sins, confessing them publicly and surrendered my life, my will, and my all to the Lord Jesus Christ.

I said, “Lord Jesus, I need you in my life, I need to hear you.” In the midst of the crowd of other people’s voices, I heard Him call my name, showing me His Holy Spirit, that beautiful Dove from heaven.

He filled me with His love, setting me free from alcohol, drugs, pornography, and all the addictions I had indulged myself in. I thank my God and Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, for His mercy and love. I’m so grateful and thankful to Him for not giving up on me, a rebellious and backsliding child.

If you’re addicted to sex, alcohol, pornography, or anything else, just as Jesus helped me, He wants to help you. If you made mistakes at a young age like I did, it’s not too late to change. If you’re tired of the party life, the playboy life, ski clubs, and the bar scene, you can choose to change today.

In Him is forgiveness of sins and eternal life. Jesus wants you to have eternal life too. Only He can save you from the wrath of God that will come upon the world. Jesus died for you so that you may live. Jesus took your sin upon Himself so you can receive His righteousness. You have to surrender to Jesus as Lord and King. Trust Jesus to help you, guide you, teach you, and keep you. He promises to be with you and will never leave you nor forsake you. Even when life seems most difficult, Jesus will be there for you. He is the Eternal One, your Refuge, and underneath all the circumstances are His everlasting arms. Jesus is peace, pure perfect peace. For there is only one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself a ransom for all, to be testified to in due time.

The Bible says: “That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus Christ and trust in your heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved. For with the heart, one goes on trusting and thus continues toward righteousness, while with the mouth one keeps on making public acknowledgement and thus continues toward deliverance.”

Call out to Jesus today. May the Lord of all the earth, hear your prayer in your time of need, and bless you exceedingly with His presence.

Real Life Stories Christian Testimony Books
Jim and Carla Barbarossa
Phone: 219-762-7589
Email: jimbarbarossa7@gmail.com or jim@step-by-step.org
Website: https://www.reallifestoriesbooks.com/

“I Will Go!”- Real Life Stories

 I grew up the third of seven children, all struggling for recognition, moving often and traveling from school to school with no place to really call home. I decided early in life to build walls for protection. My parents married at the young age of 17 and started quickly popping out children causing a lot of stress just living day to day! There was certainly no way or time to learn good communication skills! Now looking back where I came from, born in upstate NY in the early 60's, I wanted to make my mark, so I had decided to excel in academics as well as sports and music.

Soon living in Florida when my dad was 24, he had a life-changing experience with the Lord, so we started going to many Pentecostal churches and Spirit-filled revivals. At the age of 13, back in NY, I was invited to a small church hosting missionaries who were showing some slides of suffering humanity in other countries. One asked the small group if anyone would ever want to help, and immediately I raised my hand and stood up and said, "I will! I will go!" Something happened to me that day, and since then, when I remember that experience, I start to cry.

Still, my teenage years were filled with many family issues and self-performance striving for attention and approval...from school, boys, drugs and alcohol. At age 16, I felt trapped! In 1977, my parents took me to a clinic and made me have an abortion. I had gotten pregnant, and back then that was the thing to do. Afterward, the guilt and shame made me bitter and I lost the desire to excel in school, dropping out the following year. I see now that I was trying to run away from my problems, not facing my real issues, and was looking for love and approval in all the wrong places. I met a guy in the small town we lived in and ended up leaving home and moving in with him. We didn't really have much, so I soon broke up with him and moved to Texas with some friends of the family. I decided after being away from home for a few months, I would write him a long letter and say if he wanted to come to Texas, maybe we could get married and start a family right away, which he did.

In June of 1980, our first son Michael was born. By this time we had moved back to NY near our family. The real troubles had just begun and I know that through it all, my Lord kept me safe. After 23 years of marriage, my parents got a divorce, and the very next year my older sister was killed in an alcohol-related car accident. My own marriage had crumbled and now I had a small baby to take care of along with all the stress of these family crises! So by age 21, I was admitted to a facility for a nervous breakdown, chemical imbalance, and bi-polar disorder, while my dad and step-mother took care of my son. Over five years of medication, doctors, and life without making sense, proved to me that God will never leave us nor forsake us! I'm a living miracle! The doctors told me I would never be able to drive, hold a job, or have any more children.

In 1987, with no more medication and no more doctors, I was still very promiscuous and became pregnant again. During this pregnancy, I was completely healed of the chemical imbalances I had suffered. My second son Shawn was such a blessing to me and I got to have my first son Michael come and live with us. What a blessing to have both of them and to actually have my own apartment and a somewhat "normal" life! After going back to get some higher education, I met and married a fellow student at college and had a daughter Tiffany and a son Brian, which ended in divorce within five years. Throughout this time we were in and out of church and never expected that this would happen to our marriage and family.

I remember desperately praying, "Please, Heavenly Father, send me a husband that will serve you faithfully and be a father to my children and love me sincerely." Well, God answered my prayer Michael and I have been married for 14 years, growing and seeking God! I believe his daughter Gabby, is also a gift God gave me in the place of the little baby that had been aborted. We are now the proud grandparents of 6!

In 2016, as we were studying the Bible and growing in the Hebrew Roots of our Christian faith or Christian Testimonies, we became interested in, and started, blowing those shofar horns. I was led on-line to "The Shofar Man," Jim Barbarossa, and our lives have been so blessed ever since!

In recent months, a friend came to visit and was shown by the Holy Spirit that I still had a source of bitter rejection, and through prayer and agreement with that, the Lord was able to release and deliver me at the subconscious childhood source! In moments of time, the picture I saw of Jesus was a very loving, merciful Father who accepted me without needing to perform, washing away my ugly behaviors and affirming to me my worth to Him!  

I am casting all my cares on Him and setting the desires of this world aside to keep him Lord of my life. I am following in His footsteps wherever He leads me. I now trust that He has a perfect plan for my life to be a witness of how He can work our messes into something good, and that His ways are far better. What He has done for me, He can do for you, too! Forever grateful, giving God all the glory, honor, power, and praise! He is the only Way, the Truth, and the Real Life Stories!

Real Life Stories Books - I Was Alive But Not Living

It was hard raising four young kids.
I cried myself to sleep many nights.
I entered a dark place in my life.

I was alive but not living. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I never felt loved from my mother, and my father was not in my life. I thought men loved me but evidently not enough to marry me. By the time I was twenty-three years old, I was a single parent with four kids and no husband. It was hard raising four young kids with no education to fall back on. Some nights there was only enough food for the kids to eat. I cried myself to sleep many nights. I worked long hours making beds and cleaning toilets. We lived in the projects. It was clean and was a good environment for my kids at that time.

The projects later became very dangerous for my kids, and we moved into a two-flat. I immersed myself into the world. I entered a dark place in my life. I started smoking cigarettes and marijuana, drinking, and gambling. I thought I was really living, and God protected me and my kids. I knew of God and His power, but I did not have a relationship with God. I worked hard to provide for my family, and my kids had everything they needed. I loved them unconditionally, and they felt my love. I broke the curse off of my life and my family. I knew God and that He loved me, but I did not have a personal relationship with Him. Yet, He always had his hand on my life and my kids’ life. I thought if I gave up something in the world, I would lose myself.

When my kids were in high school, I met a coworker that owned a two flat. He rented me an apartment. I started selling marijuana and cocaine and using myself as well. I thought I was hiding the drugs from the kids, but they knew. I exposed my kids to drugs. I was making money and was able afford the better things out of life. Selling drugs was a convenience and a pleasure. I made sure my kids received a great education and great jobs.

I met a wonderful man name Ritchell at work. We started dating in 1985. He loved me and my kids. We became a family. My youngest child was very rebellious. He gave me a lot of trouble because of my lifestyle. He went to prison for drug use because of my bad example. I felt so guilty and blamed myself. Ritchell and I got married and became the parents for both of our kids. I was the mother of his kids because they didn’t have a mother figure in their lives. My kids didn’t have a great father figure in their lives, and my husband became that to them as well. We bought property together. He was everything in a man I could ever want.

I started going to church, and I received Christ in my life in 1996. Things in my life were going great. God was really blessing me and my family. My husband also gave his life to Christ, but he didn’t attend church very often. In 2002, my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer. We battled that for two years. We lost the battle November 16, 2004.

Two years later, my mother died. I lost my faith in God, and things went downhill from there. I went back to the ways of the world. I started smoking, drinking, and gambling. I started going to the casino daily. I hit rock bottom. I lost my three buildings and my home. I had to work at UPS fulltime to supplement the income that I lost when my husband passed away.

The one thing I had was a praying family that never gave up on me. I had a sovereign God that loved me unconditionally. I returned to God in 2010. I rededicated my life back to Christ and served Him only. I was diagnosed with cancer in 2010, and God healed my body and restored my life. I got to know God in the fellowship of His suffering and made a decision to do His will. God’s love superseded any love that I have ever received. I have learned that God truly loves me. God has blessed me and my family tremendously.

I received a call from my son about his grandson’s health. The doctor stated he would not live through the night. He was nine months old. He had bleeding on his brain, and he had a stroke on his left side. I called the prayer warriors of the church. We went to the hospital daily and prayed for his recovery. He is now three years old. God healed him and made him whole. He is using his left side again. God continues to bless my seeds’ seed, as He stated in the bible. I have seen God work so many miracles. God is awesome. I have learned how to have a true relationship with my Lord Jesus Christ, the anointed one. I am praying for my kids to receive and love Christ and receive salvation.

Real Life Stories Christian Testimony Books
Jim and Carla Barbarossa
Phone: 219-762-7589
Email: jimbarbarossa7@gmail.com or jim@step-by-step.org
Website: https://www.reallifestoriesbooks.com/